Birthday speeches

Quotes, Jokes & Ideas for a Birthday Speech

We have had a lot of requests in the past few months for some one liners for birthday speeches. We have a number of threads on the discussion forum that contain information that would help you to put together your birthday speech. Also here are a few one liners you could use.

One liners

Speech-making is a bit like prospecting for black gold. If you don’t strike oil in 10 minutes, stop boring.

I’m told that the best speech makers follow three simple rules. Stand Up. Speak Up. Then, very quickly, Shut Up. I’ll try to stick to that advice.

The brain is a wonderful thing. It never stops functioning from the time you’re born until the moment you stand up to make a speech. – Herbert V Prochnow and Herbert V Prochnow Jnr

May you live all the days of your life – Jonathan Swift

Birthday Jokes

Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.
I told my computer that today is my birthday,
and it said that I needed an upgrade.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age.

“I guess I didn’t get my birthday wish.”
“How do you know?”
“You’re still here!”

Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, What’s the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow? Well, you won’t be empty-handed, will you!

Age jokes

I am not young enough to know everything – JM Barrie

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap. – Bob Hope


Published On: 7th Apr 2009

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  1. Not really what I needed, but nice!

    Emma 30 Sep at 11:14 pm
  2. cute jokes…

    mimii 15 Jun at 10:07 am
  3. First of all I would just like to say Thank you mum and dad for organizing this party and I don’t think that anyone could have done it better and Thank you all for coming and I hope you have a great time.
    Secondly I’m told that the best speechmakers follow three simple rules. Stand Up. Speak Up. Then, very quickly, Shut Up. I’ll try to stick to that advice.
    It feels like i’ve been alive for ages but i’ve got to keep reminding myself that i’m only 13 and there’s many years to come but I’m so glad I’ve got to spend these 13 years with the people I love my family and friends.
    Now about a month ago I was looking through some great life statements and I’d like to share some
    . Life is not fair but its still good
    . When in doubt just take the next small step
    . Life is to short enjoy it
    . Make peace with your past so it doesn’t screw up your present
    . Over prepare then go with the flow
    . No matters how you feel get up dress up and show up

    jackson 17 Jun at 5:26 am
  4. i have a birthday party and i thank u for your support by posting this bd speech it has really helped me….love u

    shan 2 Jul at 8:37 am
  5. just enjoy having a nice good and happy birthday with your family

    kathy maganda 3 Sep at 10:27 am
  6. Thanks for ur bd speech i believe thta it wil help me

    Charles mashatola 13 Sep at 11:58 pm
  7. thank u so much .it really halped me out

    sia 6 Mar at 8:12 pm
  8. Tanx it realy help me

    Anonymous 5 May at 11:52 am
    Well so far this is the oldest I’ve ever been ?
    My parents assure me that I still act like a child! YES – Eternal Youth is mine!!!!
    Massive thank you to you all for coming tonight, especially those who’ve traveled far, it means a great deal to me!
    A luau is a gathering of family and friends to enjoy good food, good company, and good times! The atmosphere at a Hawaiian luau is “Hang Loose” which I thought appropriate now that I’m 40 and supposed to be hanging a bit loose myself!
    God has truly blessed me with incredible friends and family:
    Each and every one of you shares a special place in my life. I’ve known some of you longer than others (and amazingly I still gave you an invite.) I want to thank you for the good times we’ve shared and for the ones we’re yet to create!
    Giving someone a lei symbolizes the love, affection, and respect you have for that person. I have some special leis to honour a few people with tonight.
    Mum & Dad, you are inspirations to me. You have helped me so much over the years with your unconditional love and support, allowing me incredible security. The only thing better than having you as my Mum and Dad is my children having you as their Nana and Poppa. The faith and values you’ve instilled in me have blessed my life abundantly. I wouldn’t be who I am today without you, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
    My sister Carolyn – You bring great joy to my childhood memories and continue to bring me joy today. I know you care for me deeply, you prove this to me time and time again with your actions. I love you and am honoured to have you as my sister.
    My brother Jamie – I have loved you for as long as I can remember and will continue to, till the day I die. Thank you for always being there for me and wanting to protect me.
    My little bro Grant – I love you fiercely. You have the biggest heart and such immense talent. I’m so proud of you.
    My best friend Janice – such incredible times together, we have laughed till it hurts. Rare is a friendship as precious as ours. I love you more than you’ll ever know.
    Aaron – thank you SO much for this party, once again you’ve provided amazingly! You are a dream come true. You’ve filled my life with the most incredible memories and have literally given me the world, by showing me more of it than I ever dreamed possible! And, as if that wasn’t enough, you made my ultimate dream a reality – with our children. I’m deeply in love with you and can’t help loving you!!! XXX
    And finally, the people who made this incredible man: David and Linda – thank you for Aaron, and for loving and treating me as you do your own daughters.

    I hope you’re all having a good time? If you’re not, you’d better start now because I’m not going to wait for you! 😀

    Elizabeth Marriott 26 May at 2:31 am
  10. not so good website

    arun 13 Jul at 3:27 am
  11. Thanks so much for ur speeches.i’ll really help me out on my bday

    Jenny claire 13 Sep at 1:39 am
  12. Hi! I am just trying to get ideas for a speech for my bestfriends 18th birthday?

    Shauna 26 Sep at 2:11 pm
  13. Thanks for the speeches

    bhoj 21 Jun at 5:46 am
  14. …nice speech…it helps me to get idea for constructing my own speech

    zhaina mae 3 Oct at 6:47 am
  15. I thank u coz dis really helped me

    Ashley 9 Apr at 7:34 pm
  16. Thank you this speech it really helped my bro with his bday speech

    Veshala soknanan 22 Apr at 8:31 pm
  17. Hi, I’ve been asked to say a few worlds at my own 30th birthday party. Any help appreciated.

    Ellie 11 May at 1:38 pm
  18. Hi guys plz give me ideas on my speech at my sister’s 21st birthday party

    pearl willie 21 Aug at 11:39 am
  19. ..i will ask permission to you that i will use your speech in our practicum in English subject.. thank you very much.!! 🙂 by the way.. you has a nice and good speech.. 🙂

    Lorie Lyn Espallardo 16 Oct at 10:28 am
  20. Good speeches

    j.b 22 Nov at 4:00 pm
  21. asked to make a vote of thanks at my cousins 50th birthday

    themba 18 Oct at 11:40 am
  22. very pretty~

    GRACE RA 28 Aug at 5:48 pm