How my friend lost his fear in one evening

[Tony vieira]

This is neither a miracle cure or a halleluiah moment. Very importantly it is something that just about every body scared witless at the mere thought of speaking in public can use to banish their fears instantly.

This is the true story of how a friend of mine, Howard, changed from a shivering wreck at 7 PM to receiving rapturous applause at 9:40 PM. Howard is a huge West Indian man with enormous presence, a glittering smile, and infectious laughter who captivates people on first contact. He’s a very popular, friendly, life and soul of the party sort of guy.

He was also scared witless at the thought of having to speak, even in front of friends and family.

When he was initiated into the Masons I’ve never seen anyone shake so much. Believe me there is no need for any fear whatsoever, but most initiates are naturally apprehensive about entering the unknown. After the ceremony he was back to his usual jovial self.

Seven months later he asked me for help with a speech he would have to give after his third degree ceremony. My advice to him all along had been to simply stand up and speak from the heart. Say what you feel I told him, because everybody else had been through exactly the same thing.

The truth is that audiences want to see and hear the speaker do well. They’re fully supportive, aware of the pressures and fears, and get great enjoyment from listening to passionate, committed speeches that they can empathise with.

Howard insisted he needed help so I stopped up till 1:30 in the morning writing a speech for him. He spent the night before and the day of the ceremony practicing it. He was a bundle of nerves before the ceremony and nervously fumbled with the notes all through the dinner preceding the talks and toasts.

Then something tremendous happened.

Howard stood up, waved the paper I’d given him, said, ‘brother Vieira has kindly written a speech for me,’ then put the paper back on the table. He said ‘I’m not going to use it though.’ I was so proud that he’d finally found that spark within himself and he could speak with a new found passion about the things he’d just experienced.

Nobody cared that he stuttered and stammered at times because he spoke with a passion that we could all feel and connect with. He expressed his feelings and gratitude in a totally unrehearsed speech. It wasn’t eloquent and it wasn’t Shakespeare, it was straight from the heart.

Howard discovered the true meaning and spirit of speaking that night. I hope this helps people to think more about what they can give when speaking rather than concentrate on themselves.